A shot in the arm
Xavier de Moulins
Au diable vauvert
December 2010
17€
Paris, February 2, 2011
The House That Jack Kerouac Built / The Go-Betweens
Un coup à prendre
Xavier de Moulins
Living in Paris requires everyone – down here – to do several activities at once (and not just one activity at a time). Let’s call it – to put it simply – “ubi-activity”. It’s a bit like that fashion trend that shows no signs of letting up this season: bi-material. We love, I’d even say, we’re crazy about mixing and matching, versatility and divided forms. Because come on – dare we say it – having the impression of being able to do several things at once means above all having that proud feeling of going faster. But when you think about it, multi-tasking is only the result of the choice not to do anything at all… In order to fit everything into one day, you have to divide and multiply. It’s easy to understand why people use the verb “juggle”…
This is how… On public transport, with the help of your iPod Touch or iPhone, and with the help of Assimil methods, you perfect your English, between Duck Sauce and Taio Cruz… Apply nail polish to your toenails while microwaving a ready-made meal… Because if the varnish dries – almost – completely in a minute, and if it takes – almost – a minute to paint all 10 nails, well in 2-3 minutes, you’re not bad at timing… That you can fill in a CAF form, while continuing to break up live on Facebook chat with your boyfriend, while continuing to fill your shopping cart on vente-privee…
In short, as a young woman of my age, active and busy, I too had decided to “multi-task”. Something along the lines of “A well-made head in a well-made body”.
Who hasn’t?
LUI allait m'aider ...
So, perched on my (indoor) bike, I decided both to activate the cardio mode and to set the power 8 to the level of the slope, pedaling like that for 30 minutes, then 5 minutes of recovery, then for another 30 minutes, followed by another 5 minutes of recovery. 70 minutes. Everything was calculated and programmed – perfectly – on the side of the “well-made body” (second part of the sentence). Now, for the head, I had opted for the following book: Un coup à prendre by Xavier de Moulins. Not for the title, but rather for the perfect number of pages.
180 pages gave me a reading speed of 2.5 pages per minute, if – of course – I kept up the pace even when climbing the steepest slopes…
I’d read Benjamin Berton’s review, quick and dirty, while packing my gym bag, and remembered this: ”
Summarizing the book will only take a moment and won’t spoil the reading in any way.
Un Coup à prendre
is without surprises, making it a refreshingly unpleasant diversion. Antoine shares his life as a father with us. We know it’s not easy every day. 80% of people know or will know this pleasure: De Moulins doesn’t invent anything and everyone will easily find themselves in what he says. Antoine lives with Claire, who hasn’t been the same since her maternity years: less sexy, fatter and more of a “mommy in the head”. As a result, he leaves her for a young girl who really makes love, and who takes his dad back ten years, to when he was banging really hot young girls in student dorm rooms (what a time!). Antoine leaves the marital home and rediscovers, on the occasion of alternating custody… that he has two remarkable daughters. That’s all there is to it. Since we’re magnanimous, we won’t let go of the ending. “.
Well, not only did I get a real kick out of exercising, but – Cherry on the Cake – on the terribly steep slopes, I even went faster than normal… Because the book excites and sets in motion, stirs the blood and activates the energy of the organs. Here are a few excerpts that made me quite sporty.
Page 33
- It’s just grown-up stuff that doesn’t concern children.
Yes, I said that extraordinary phrase: it’s not your problem, chicks, just follow the guide!
Alice saw fit to clarify my thoughts.
- Mom and Dad still love you. It’s not your fault your dad’s a pig and runs off with some whore.
Page 37
Don’t forget that pregnancy means “big”.
I hadn’t signed up to end up with a militant Greenpeace elephant seal. I’d loved an atomic bomb, and I missed my Hiroshima. I felt I’d been cheated. I’d rented a bungalow for two overlooking a private white-sand beach, only to find myself in the hell of a hotel club overlooking a coach park and no one to reimburse me.
I’d run out of imagination, even closing my eyes made my heart go soft.
Page 50
- And the problem with you is that it’s always the same story. When we first meet you, you look so out of it that we want to help you, and then a few months later, it’s the same thing all over again: you go back to live with a new conquest whom you mistake in three days for the woman of your life, and we end up with the same apartment on our hands because…
- Because what…?
- Because, excuse me for being so direct, but you’re like all men, incapable of living alone.
Page 180
Today it’s her turn, it’s the same thing and it’s different because when Alice walks through the door, I know there’s nothing more to be done, that there’s no point in chasing her, that she’s not coming back.
Elisa Palmer
PS / The question “And what were you doing writing this paper?” will remain unanswered.
Cette publication est également disponible en : Français (French)
