Les témoins de la mariée – Didier van Cauwelaert – Editions Albin Michel – May 2010 – Price: 19€.
Crédits photos : Elisa Palmer
Monday, May 24, 2010 – Nîmes (Gard)
« Further than you think » (SNCF slogan)
Crédits photos : Elisa Palmer
2h58 is theexact timing to read Didier van Cauwelaert’s latest book,
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if you have stamped your ticket,
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if you don’t feel like inspecting the new TGV toilets,
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if you are not trapped/barricaded in 2nd class, window side, by a sleeping traveler snoring on his Sudoku ,
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if you are in the direction of the train ,
/?t.se.te.?a//?t.se.te.?a//?t.se.te.?a/…
I might as well tell you, I was in a bad way.
But hey,lucky for me, everything went well.
The book, bought in a hurry, in a Point Relais, with as main motivation: the man – still alive – with his head cut off, in his wedding suit, on the first cover.
Marrying a « trunk », well, the idea can be pleasant .
Book summary:
« We were his best friends: he asked us to be his witnesses. Five days before the wedding, he dies in a car accident.
This morning, at the airport, we are waiting for his fiancée. She arrives from Shanghai, she doesn’t know anything and all we know about her is her first name and her flight number.
How to tell him the truth? We were about to shatter her dream; she is the one who, in less than twenty-four hours, is going to change our lives.
But is this young Chinese woman the ideal woman or the worst manipulator? »
Imagine the worst, and Didier van Cauwelaert will do even better.
Indeed, each move must have as a moral rule to be always lower than the previous one. And, quite naturally, one ends up taking a liking to it. Because at the end of the day, we’re all the same, and who doesn’t like stirring up mud?
In a few lines,
Take a – real – bunch of buddies, tightly knit, loaded with money. Put in the middle a man who is a little bit better than the other protagonists (more sex appeal, richer, more influential, better known, more « better »…). This man will be a photographer, for all the unmentioned reasons we can think of… The right moment (before his death), the right person (a celebrity), made him go from complete and effective anonymity to success story.
As a result:
(well-funded bank accounts, Urbi & Orbi connections + dedication, and infinite generosity = well-placed and – rather – happy buddies in life, but not at the top either, with lots of unfulfilled personal and professional dreams).
This man will be at the same time a ladies’ man, a Casanova, and a Don Juan (yes, a winning trio), for all the reasons already mentioned that we can think of: « more sex appeal, richer, more influential, better known, more « better »… After use(s) simple or repeated (depending), as a good man of his time, he recycles his mistresses by offering them gracefully to his friends. Pretty cool, buddy.
The punch line: When Marc, of his first name, announces to his vassals that he has met THE woman, and that he intends to marry her.
After this episode, Marc dies in an accident. But, the machine is already launched. And, the bride-to-be arrives in France, in Paris, to say YES.
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Marc’s friends:
bewildered, stunned, deafened, shocked, dismayed, amazed, dazed, flabbergasted, crushed, appalled, astonished, stunned, groggy, dumbfounded, stunned, traumatized…
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Find themselves having to receive the bride all the same.
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Establishment of strategies.
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Abort strategies.
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And in the end, everyone wants it, we tear the widow, and we say thank you to the dead friend.
Quotes.com:
The funniest : p.41
Banyuls, » said the more gallant of the two, with a closed look, when he discovered my name. You are called like the wine.
I explained that I had been found on a hillside in Roussillon, which is why my unknown origins were being replaced by a controlled appellation. »
The sexiest : p.170
« Thank you, Jean Claude.
She put me back in my underwear. I caught my breath, panting, leaning against the unstable partition. It was the first time a girl had swallowed me and thanked me. They are right to say that life begins at forty. »
The most cultural : p.204
« What is very strong about the Chinese woman’s tactics…, is that she creates harmonious structures in order to benefit from them. If she restores the happiness of others, it is to be invited into it. She practices the feng shui of feelings: she remakes the interiors before squatting in them.
The most Marguerite Duras : p.208
« Writing is looking back. And I don’t want to suffer anymore. »
The most ambiguous: p. 226
« Is that a threat?
An emulation, I hope, for the four of you. Enjoy your head start: for the moment you are the only one who knows the rules of the game.
She stretches. I grab a rail of the banister, to restore balance. She smiles with a yawn, like a coach who is as excited as she is exhausted thinking about the task ahead.
Marlene is to become her own artist, Bany is to finish developing her vegetable engine, Jean-Claude is to create a company to market it, you are to have it published next year. These are Marc’s last wishes. And I’m the risk premium. »
Rating stars (here 3 / 4).
Elisa Palmer / LUXSURE