VS#008 21/03/10
Overdosed Vodka
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Free Expression
Man is a sheep like the others, this sentence has been running around in my head all day, so I decided to write a little fiction about my vision of the conformity of life,…
The human condition has always been grotesque. Every human being on the planet does the same things every day. This heritage is nothing more than an OCD, worsening and untreatable because society teaches us from a young age the stupid, artificial and superficial rules of life. We reproduce the gestures, speak and defecate like our neighbors.
You also collaborate in this shepherdess company, you are thirty years old, and you occupy a good place in a Parisian Com company. Your girlfriend tells you that she is pregnant, you hesitate to run away, but no, you stay. Inwardly you are depressed and outwardly a wide smile cuts your face in two. You stay because you love it, and most importantly, it’s a great fit. You’re thinking about her future belly looking like a retired sexagenarian alcoholic. Your goofy smile drops a little as you finally realize that your sex life is going to die. And then you think back to the new secretary who looks at you from morning to night with a slutty eye, your face splits in two.
Today your wife gives birth to a male child, you are happy because you wanted to have a little boy, who like you and many others will be a soccer fan. Finally the mother elephant gave birth, you run around, you jump and phone your parents, you are father, dad, daron, … you are happy (no that day you had not taken coke, yes, yes, I assure you). You poor schmuck, if you only knew the rest.
Hervé enters school, he is three years old and cries all the time. Yes Hervé, you didn’t choose the name but it made your darling so happy to name him after her great-grand-uncle. Your kid goes to school, finally you find yourself alone with your wife, you hope to make love to her, but no, she is in a state of mind very close to hysteria, THE MOON IS AT SCHOOL, you don’t care at all where Hervé is, the only thing you think about is: Fucking, fucking? A yes, it’s been a long time!
Hervé is now six years old, he plays soccer, you like him, he is not too annoying. Well, almost, because a recurring question keeps running through her little head: How do you make babies? A question you would love to answer with a nice, loving « shut up ». But you hold back, and tell her that daddy puts a little seed in mommy’s belly and waters it like a flower. You feel happy, but the monster asks you a new question: Daddy, daddy, daddy, how does the daddy put the seed? Yes his vocabulary is very developed, at this moment you want to answer him with his big pipe! But no, you explain to her that the father makes the mother swallow the seed, which in a way is not really false because your wife swallows.
Your child starts college, he asks you to accompany him the first day, but as soon as he arrives, Hervé runs off with his friends, and you are like all these parents, alone and stupid. He discovers sex in front of the TV and with his buddies, he has 30 hours of shitty classes per week and almost as much handjob,… And he grumbles. You’re just a wallet, you buy him the latest sneakers at 200€ and he sends you packing. A yes you cheat on your wife, the rombière, ex-bonasse in the sack with your secretary. No, I’m just kidding, she was just a nice job, a booty call. Nope, you’ve found THE bitch, well the word whore would be more appropriate considering how much it costs you. But you’re 43 and she’s 25, so you’re not going to quibble.
There you go, finally he enters high school, with his 35 hours of classes per week and his homework, the stereotyped teenager that Hervé has become will leave you alone. And no, he still manages to piss you off. He’s throwing parties while you’re cheating on your wife who’s away on a seminar. Parties that don’t look like anything else: very trendy music (Boum, Tziiiz, Boum, etc…), titillated olfactory sensations (it stinks like fuck), nice atmosphere (shut up asshole!). You come home the next day and your son introduces you to his new girlfriend (the one who was giving his best friend a blow job a few hours ago) in the middle of this battlefield.
You are not working today, why again? Oh yes, it’s Sunday, your son comes home at noon, after mass, I mean his party, he says « I’m going to kill myself », because,… His best friend is moving away. You explain to him that he has a good life and a lot of other friends, you would like to slap him in his stupid face to make him think again, but you hold back your hand. Hervé goes to his room and puts his schizo music on loud (oh asshole you have an Mp3).
Finally Hervé leaves to study, he will « learn » in the United States, his seventh girlfriend he left, because he caught her with his neighbor. You are in great shape, you fuck your wife once a week, your mistress four times, the neighbor from time to time and your new secretary twice a day at work.
You’re sixty years old, you look like your wife did thirty years ago, your belly is plump and thanks to your good place, you’re young retired, you bang your wife once every three weeks and that’s it. Hervé is thirty years old and he is a young father…
Drug
Part ONE of a day like any other:
6:30 am, the alarm clock rings and shakes on the designer bedside table he unearthed in last year’s IDEAT. With a simple gesture, as mechanical as a respiratory reflex, he strikes hard and true on the alarm’s shut-off system, so violently that the damn electronic rooster rolls away, falling heavily on the magazine-covered floor before finishing its survival run under the bed.
6:50 am, the cell phone vibrates under the pillow, while the radio turns on a landslide that killed fifteen children, it’s time. Softly it immerses of this so warm drape, of this condom of heat containing the stress out of the comforter,…
6:57 am, he sits on his bed, coughing and spitting as if to empty his lungs of all the outside crap from the night before to make more room for the day’s. Here the internal storm is finished, he can then seek his packet of cigarettes in the brothel encircling his bed, which then resembles a castle besieged by the mess and the ugly appearance of the arrangement synonymous with the battle which will soon be delivered.
6:59 am, he found his garots, only five more to go, he can’t go to the tobacconist this morning, he’s already sleeping and he knows that the morning is going to be long and boring to death. He prays for at least a few of the Lexomil pills he stole from his grandmother last week so that he doesn’t feel the time passing by too much, although for him the hours are far from turning into minutes, and the minutes into seconds.
7:01 am, he is standing on his bed, in Dim boxer shorts, he blows smoke upwards like grey and dull clouds on a dead and dull urban landscape, he thinks he is the Eiffel tower, where in this suburban panorama, he is suffocating in his own pollution
7:0,…
Quote from Big Box
-Grandma why do we kill to eat, it’s sad?
-Yes my dear, it is sad but to live you have to eat, and sometimes small animals get eaten, but they are happy, because it is their job.
-ah okay, so you grandma when you die because you are old I will be happy for your work.
the four year old girl to her grandmother in the butchery department at Super U
Playlist
Let Therre Be Lite – Justice
Dans le Club – TTC
Go To Sleep – Eminem, DMX, Obie Trice
Dog – SebastiAn
Omen – The Prodigy
Fuck The People – The Kills
Pourriture 2 – Mr Oizo
Starter – Boys Noize
Bullet In The Head – RATM
4WD – Jean Nipon
Read Playlist
Ending Formula
Sunday! It sucks!
Sunday! It Sucks!
Friday I met a nun,
But not twenty years old,…
And far from good!
With all her teeth?
So, the next VS will be well coke!